Grief doesn’t always come with a clear path. For some, it’s a quiet ache. For others, a need to do something – to honour, to hold on, to let go. For Devon-based artist Elaine Murray, it was a brushstroke that turned mourning into meaning.
When Elaine sadly lost both her parents within two years f one another – in 2019 and 2021 – the pain was immense. She found herself caught in that all-too-familiar tug: the need to scatter her mother’s ashes, while not quite being ready to say goodbye. So, she did what she knew best – she painted.
But not just any painting. Elaine created a portrait of her mother on a beach in Hawaii – a treasured memory – using cremated ashes mixed into the paint. The result? A seascape that wasn’t just about place, but presence. A way for her mother to be in the room. Part of the family still.
Elaine’s deeply personal act resonated with others. A stranger on Instagram reached out, asking if she could create a similar memorial painting – and that request marked the beginning of a now-thriving practice. From wildflower meadows to beloved pet portraits, Elaine’s work now helps people across the UK celebrate life while navigating loss.
But working with ashes isn’t as simple as mixing them with watercolours. Elaine discovered that ashes have a high pH level if you want to be nerdy about it around 11– comparable to bleach – which can degrade paint (well a lot of things actually) over time. Wanting to do things properly, she sought expert advice.
That’s where Living Memorial / RTN Soil came in.
Living Memorial RTN Soil is a specialist organisation helping families neutralise ashes to make them environmentally safe for scattering. Their research into the science of ashes – something few people ever consider – has helped countless people avoid accidental environmental damage when choosing a natural resting place for a loved one.
Elaine contacted the team at RTN and worked with their scientists to develop a stabilising agent – one that would make ashes not just safe to scatter, but safe to paint with too. Thanks to their guidance, her artwork isn’t just meaningful – it’s made to last.
There’s something incredibly tender about this form of remembrance. One family asked for a poppy-filled meadow for their mum. Another wanted the soft pinks and blues their loved one had adored – but “absolutely no green,” as it had been her least favourite colour. Each canvas holds a story, a life, and a way to remain connected.
Elaine puts it best: “It’s very sad but it’s also very joyful.”
In a world where ashes can feel like the final thing you have left, her work offers a gentle alternative. A way to keep some, to scatter some, and to make something beautiful in the process.
I genuinely wanted to publicise Elaine’s work, but when I found out about the soil being involved, I felt duty bound to give us a shameless plug, I wanted to give Elaine a link but in the Devon Live article where I found all this there was not one, it does say she is on Instagram.
Before painting the ashes were kept in the bedroom – in case you were wondering is this very common, yes is the answer it is the most common place to keep them.