We are asked the following on a very frequent basis:
“What can I do if I don’t want my funeral at a crematoria?” or “I am not religious but the crematoria seems so depressing what can I do?”
They all follow the same theme –
- The church seems fitting but I/they were not religious
- The crematoria is too: drab, quick, impersonal, depressing etc etc
There is a commonly held misconception that funerals have to be held at either a crematoria or a church. Yes, a lot of the ‘formula’ funeral directors will push you down this route. Why? well they know what they’re doing with this set up. It saves time, there are less complications and less things to go wrong.
What is that I hear: Herse and Two Limos, flowers from this range; coffin from range, and off we go to the local crem, make it quick the Sidebottom family will be in here in three quarters of an hour. Some tell me, and not without certain amount of truth – this works, the last thing a family needs is 1000 questions, keep things simple, Don’t burden them it only causes paralysis and upset.
However if you are not in that state of mind, say for example you have been expecting the death and you have made plans then – It doesn’t have to be like that. Funerals can be held pretty much anywhere and the ‘committal’ part can happen at the end of the ceremony. Just imagine a tithe barn, or reception room with a wonderful view. The coffin brought in, the service, speeches, music, all at your pace. And the wake there too. The coffin can go onward at point of your choosing. Which can be with or without you. You could ask that it could be kept for just immediate family at the crematoria, but that doesn’t have to be the same day. Or you may choose a direct cremation at the end of the ceremony…
If you don’t know what venues in your area offer this service ask your funeral director if they don’t know either choose a different funeral director (you can you know!) or ask around.
A funeral is like a scattering ceremony – IT IS YOUR CHOICE.