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What to say when scattering ashes

What to say while scattering ashes

What to say while scattering ashes

Picking the right words to say when scattering ashes can seem daunting, but with a bit of preparation and thought  it isn’t too tricky can be very cathartic. What you are looking to do is capture the essence of the person, without waffling or getting too upset.

With a scattering ceremony there is less formality then a funeral and less need to conform to a formula. The words said can take many forms: a eulogy, a poem, a quote or saying or a combination of all of these – it is your scattering ceremony it is your choice

We have a page on what poems are appropriate – Scattering Poems and we also put them on the blog. We also have a page of quotes and saying that might be right for your ashes ceremony too.

When you prepare you talk keep a few things in mind:

  • be personal
  • stay positive
  • keep it brief

Write you thoughts down before you speak, as those that come ‘straight from the heart’ rarely live up to how you think they will a certainly never like in the movies, often descending into a ramble where big chunks get missed out. Also people ask for them afterward and they are quite wonderful documents in their own right.

What to include

Start with a little history – where they were born, parents, where they lived (get dates right), what they did.

Next a poignant or funny memory – family holidays are a rich source of material.

What their life meant, their loves and passions.

I think it is nice to say something they taught you.

Then you may ask other to contribute (wise to tell them prior to the occasion so they don’t come out with something trite) – our toasting cups came make a nice added extra – where you fill the cups with ashes and instead of toasting you cast the cup full of ashes.

We do a free order of service to give you some ideas.

There is a huge amount of wonderful information on how and what to say out there on on the internet, we liked these two resources on Pintrest and Lovelieson

What to say when scattering ashes


2 thoughts on “What to say while scattering ashes

  1. Reply
    Mary - 12th September 2021

    I wish I had found this site earlier. It is so helpful, comprehensive, empathetic and full of answers to questions I did not know I needed to ask! It should be made available to every Celebrant, clergyman, funeral director, and anyone associated with death and its aftermath. Thank you.

    1. Reply
      Richard Martin - 15th September 2021

      Hi Mary
      Thank you so much for your kind words … really appreciated.
      Kind regards

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